So there I was, nicely tucked away in my warm cardboard box having a snooze after my travels, when I heard voices: "Sign here" "Oooh he's here sooner that I thought he'd be". Hmmm, I recognised that voice.
I could hear the wrapping coming off my travelling bedroom and suddenly I found myself with Claire. I remember Claire, she almost packed me when she was moving away from White Lodge.
She checked my belongings had all travelled safely, then took a look at me and said "The state of you - you could do with a bath". Charming. I don't suppose she'd look any better if she'd been off travelling the world. The next thing I knew, she chucked me in a soapy warm bath.
At first it was rather nice, like a day at the spa with a free massage thrown in, but then she held my head under the water!! The indignity! I've not seen her for 5 months and she tries to drown me! It's enough to make a dog turn to drink (which I did when she wasn't looking).
Finally I got plonked on a radiator to help me dry off. Her stupid ginger dog, Dudley, was oblivious to my plight. I shouted and shouted for him to get me down, so I could escape, but he just kept on yawning.
Oh well, it looks like I'm here for a bit, so I might as well make the most of it. Fortunately I'm opposite the telly and it's nice and warm up here, so I'll settle down for a snooze and hope tomorrow is kinder to me.